Good morning my people!


It's been a roller coaster ride for me and the country as a whole. What with Boko Haram and the violence going on in the east, not to mention the violence on a smaller (but no less violent) scale in homes i.e. Titi Arowolo's brutal murder at the hands of her husband whom I assume promised to love and cherish her blah blah blah! I was part of a news conference for her alongside Josephine Chukwuma of Project Alert on Violence Against Women, Stella Damasus Aboderin Nigerian Nollywood superstar, Weird MC Nigerian music icon, Agatha Amata Nigerian TV talk show host etc. It is disheartening when one cannot trust those who profess to love you and love is repaid with violent death.


It is my firm belief that, in small and big ways, we have all contributed to situations like this becoming increasingly prevalent in our society. The society pressures young women into marriages that they may otherwise not have gone into. Our first reaction when we meet a young lady is to look at her hand or ask if she's married. Some even operate under the myopic, prehistoric and chauvinistic misconception that an unmarried woman (or even man) who is of marriageable age is irresponsible or immature.


We women, too, contribute to this as well. We throw ourselves at men shamelessly and accept shabby treatment all in the guise of keeping the relationship so it progresses into marriage. Some of us go as far as deluding ourselves into thinking a partner will change after marriage. What are we...Joseph the Dreamer?! I have had a friend tell me to drop my standards and "manage" the next man who comes along. Why set myself up for a lifetime of pain and regrets? No, thanks! What about the women who believe that life is on hold till you are married and rather than improve themselves, making themselves worthy of a great man, they waste their lives waiting.


Parents would rather their daughter suffer on in an abusive marriage than face the "disgrace" of telling their church friends they have a daughter who is separated or divorced. The daughter in question is likely to cover up the beatings and psychological abuse because she has been brainwashed by society to believe that it is always her fault. She believes that if she leaves an abusive marriage then she is a disgrace and a failure who is irresponsible and weak.


The religious groups (the church to be precise) tells you to stay put in a violent home and keep praying. How and where can you pray when you have to watch out of the corner of your eye that you're not about to be stabbed?! I say, get out of a danger zone then continue with the praying while you seek reconciliation.


Agatha Amata said something which made absolute sense to me: Mothers are the main culprits in this dilemma because they raise daughters to believe it is OK to be ill-treated and bearing it is a sign of strength and responsibility, a virtue while sons are raised to believe they are superior beings to females and it's OK to smack a girl to put her in her place.


So who gets the most blame for this growing trend of domestic abuse in marriages and sibling-relationships? Or is it equally shared? I'll leave you with this profile message I lifted from a male friend's Facebook profile.


"The mark of a true Spiritual woman is the ability to submit to her husband's authority joyfully and finding her God given role in supporting her man. She is content carrying out his orders as a mark of her love for him."


God bless us all!

Valentine with the Down Syndrome Kids

Hello GirlFriends! (and boyfriends, too!)

It's good to have you in our corner. The GirlFriends Nigeria needs you in her corner so we can help alleviate some of the hardships faced by women and children in our society (especially the girl-child).

Last month, the month of love, we decided to share our hearts with the children of the Down Syndrome Association of Nigeria (http://www.dsanigeria.org/). This NGO helps families with members who have Down Syndrome. Headquartered in Surulere, Lagos, this association provides schooling and boarding facilities for these children and also guide parents and families on how to care for their relatives and friends with the syndrome.

The GirlFriends decided to help out by throwing a party for the children and their families as well as provide some necessary items to the association, contributing towards the upkeep of the boarders and their carers.

It came as a pleasant surprise to find that most of the staff there are wonderful young people, most of who are not related to the kids nor have any member of their family with the challenge! They are just regular everyday people who have dedicated their time and energy towards helping these people get beyond their "predicament" and live life normally. I was greatly inspired by these young men and women.

Another source of inspiration were the "children" themselves. The way they open up to you, show you unconditional love brought tears to my eyes and made my heart hurt, but in a good way. They are certainly not stupid (as some people think) and calling them retards is highly offensive and derogatory. I have come to understand that they are highly intelligent and creative people who sometimes find it hard to express this intelligence and creativity without some help. Example is Solomon who is a gifted dancer. He's even been out of Nigeria for dance competitions! Yes, they'll probably never become scientists (though never say never!) but they have a lot to offer and contribute to the nation's economy. If you're close to one of these wonderful people, ask them as you would any other person what their skills are, what they enjoy doing, what they hope to become in future then help them achieve it. Believe me, there's nothing greater than being part of an inspiring success story. They can be accomplished swimmers, actors, public speakers, professional dancers etc. The kids here made hair cream which we bought (Solomon is an aggressive salesman! The banks might wanna check him out!). They are very good and I still use mine on my hair. All they need is to be treated with love, respect and dignity and assisted to achieve their dreams, which like all of us, they also have.

To buttress my point, you may check out this website with the stories of famous people with Down Syndrome and their achievements: http://www.about-down-syndrome.com/. I already knew about Andrea Friedman who is an actress (she's been in Law & Order, ER, Saving Grace and Life Goes On), she works (has a regular job besides her acting career), lives alone and drives a car (a Mercedes Benz) which she bought with her own money! Andrea is also famous for having a run-in with Sarah Palin and holding her own gracefully. She didn't have any "special" education; she was just fortunate to be surrounded by people who didn't see the handicap before the person but the person first before anything else.

If you need more information on Down Syndrome, Google is the way to go!

See below for pictures of the party with the kids.

P.S. If you want to partner with us to do more for this cause, leave us a comment here or please contact us on thegirlfriendsng@gmail.com or 08023629988.

Life, Love & Laughter!

Hello and Happy 2011!

Thank you for visiting us again this year! It means you're willing to continue our partnership towards helping our fellow Nigerian women be the best they can be and give the best of themselves towards re-building this country of ours. Thank you so much!

January was a month for strategizing for the year so there was no event. However, we've got the rest of the year covered! Ensure your're a part of The GirlFriends this 2011 because there's a lot to be gained.

Last year was awesome! At least December showed me how much support we have from fellow girlfriends and our menfolk. We asked for donations to make the December event an unforgettable experience and my heart almost burst with the joy that filled it at the response!

The plan was to bring some love and laughter to some of the downtrodden women in our soceity and share some of our experiences to let them know that their situations are not peculiar and are not insurmountable. With the right support system, they'll overcome.

We partnered with Project Alert on Violence against Women (http://www.projectalertnig.org/) to do this. Project Alert has a shelter where victims of domestic violence, sexual abuse etc are housed for safety reasons until their situations are resolved.

The GirlFriends visited them aiming to put back laughter and love into their lives.

We visited them at the shelter (which is an undisclosed address) and shared food items, clothes, money and other necessary items. It was heartbreaking watching these women and children who should be basking in love and warmth at home seeking a safe haven in the arms of strangers. However, we thank God there is such a place where they can run to for help and protection. We received a nice "thank you" letter from Project Alert which covers you, our esteemed donors.

We hope that in future we can do more for the shelter and the housemates such as organise skills acquisition and entrepreneurship classes for the unskilled women, support the children with scholarships etc. However, we cannot do this alone; we need YOU! If you're not a girlfriend blessed enough not to find yourself running helter skelter looking for help, then you have a mother, sisters, daughters, nieces, aunts cousins and/or friends who may one day need help (we hope not, though!). It would be nice if they had somewhere to go to if they are not comfortable involving family.

Below are some of the pictures and the letter. The faces of the housemates in the pictures have been edited for safety reasons.

To ensure you are kept updated on our events and plans, you should become a follower of this blog. Or you could contact us in 2 ways: e-mail: thegirlfriendsng@gmail.com; phone: 08023629988

Enjoy the month of February! We'll let you know what the theme for February will be...very soon!

Battered but not Broken!

Hi!

Thank you for visiting our blog. It means you're a darling girlfriend (even if you are male!)

The GirlFriends is a not-for-profit platform established to address issues that affect the Nigerian woman here and in the diaspora.

We had our inaugural gathering on 27th November, 2010 and our theme was "Battered but not Broken". The issue addressed was domestic violence. It was an issue determined by a poll; needless to say it came as a shock to me that it was so common especially amongst beautiful, young, educated and exposed couples, Christian and non-Christian! We had beautiful young survivors share their experiences to unburden their hearts and also teach others how to avoid and handle similar situations. We also had in our midst marriage counsellors, psychologists and clergy who advised and guided us on dos and don'ts.

The session was quite emotional in some cases and in others left participants in a state of shock with skin crawling! Truth be told, one of the survival stories would rival the most horrifying of Nollywood story lines featured on African Magic! You begin to realize that these home videos are based on fact!

All in all, it was an eye-opening event; one from which a wealth of useful information and networking opportunities resulted. If you were there, then you know what I'm talking about. If you were not, you better sign up for the next event! Catch a glimpse in the pictures below! Also see invitation details for December's event.

INTRO... MY NEW NIGERIA; CAREER DEVELOPMENT!

Good morning my people!

My absence in cyberspace via my blog can be summed up thus: all bark and no bite! I regularly accuse relatives, friends and even strangers of just sitting and whining about the diverse ills in the society and doing nothing in their own little way to help the situation.

On retrospection, I realised I wasn't any better! Sure, I had this blog dedicated to re-orientation of what is popularly called "the Nigerian Mentality". That, in my opinion, is equal to saying "the Nigerian Madness"!

Anyway, I felt that this, added to my efforts at living what I "preach" got me thinking that was all I could do to help my Nigeria and my Nigerian brothers and sisters (that would be you, my sibling from another mother!)

After realising that I could do more by virtue of my occupation, I have decided to address a matter that affects nearly every family in Nigeria and that is unemployment, employment, entrepreneurship, career planning and development etc. These are all part of what I do in my chosen profession as a Consultant in Human Resources and Organizational Development. I have decided to use my skills, knowledge, education and professional experience to help and encourage as many Nigerians as I can in this regard.

By virtue of my job, I am aware of most vacancies in, and sometimes, outside Nigeria. I can also give career advice.

On this premise, I have created a new page called Career Development where I will be discussing all topics related. The very first article on this page is, naturally, employment opportunities. Please, look to your right, under the google adverts (I'm not sure which ad is visible at this point, apartments in Dubai, maybe!) but under the list of pages, you'll find the right one.

I'm sure you noticed the change in the name of my blog (mynewnigeria.blogspot.com). I'll explain next Thursday or Friday. I know I've been a bit tardy in the consistency of publishing posts here. Ok, a lot tardy! But I've repented. Truly. Now, I pledge to Nigerians my siblings, to be faithful, punctual and... can't find a word that rhymes with "honest" but I'm sure you get my drift! So, Thursdays or Fridays it is! You may check and if you find nothing new, feel free to...em...well, just feel free!

You may now proceed to "Career Development" for the latest vacancies. Feel free to share this blog on facebook, twitter, etc usng the share buttons below.

Enjoy your weekend!

God bless us all.

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!!

Do Unto Others...

We all preach certain principles because it's the acceptable thing to say. But how much of these principles do we really believe, deep down in our hearts? And how many of these principles, as a result of our beliefs, do we embody? It is hard, I can tell you, to always live what you preach. Sometimes, it's simply because we are unaware of our true self, our true ethical bias.

Recently, I have made a discovery about myself and it's not a pretty discovery. I have learned that I can be a de-motivating factor! I was mildly upset by this revelation. Mildly because I decided to look at the positive side to this self-discovery – now that I know, I can now make a conscious effort to become a motivating factor!

I've read books and listened to talks and speeches that advise that before you criticize, you must first praise. The positivity of the praise will soften the blow of the negativity which the criticism will inevitably exude. Even from personal experiences I knew this and firmly believed that I got it right when dealing with friends, colleagues, subordinates etc. I have discovered that I am not quite the motivator I assumed I was in this regard!

My office is very serious about developing its workforce and so we undergo a lot of training and learning opportunities are made available to everyone. One of such development tools is what we call Knowledge Sharing Sessions; is a daily activity where each staff, having been previously given a topic and time to carry out research, is expected to give a high-powered presentation on the specified topic.

I was made the manager in-charge of coordinating these sessions. We are expected to score the presenter of the day using a specified scoring matrix, highlighting strengths (the praise part which encourages) and discuss their weaknesses (the criticism which may demoralize).

In the course of these sessions and resultant discussions, I noticed that my jottings and focus on the presentations are usually all negative. I'm not the best of presenters or public speakers so I wonder where I get off being so critical of others!

Last week a young lady was to give a PowerPoint presentation on a book review. The book was "How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie". Though the lady is not a consultant, the organizational policy on employee development does not exempt her from participating in this. By virtue of her job and role in the organization, she does not get to stand in front of a roomful of people and utilize a projector to make her point. Though she didn't present like a professional, I failed to see the positives. Instead, I had a notepad filled with criticisms and I was in a rush to point out these criticisms so I could look like the knowledgeable professional. I saw her efforts as half-empty rather than half-full and which, with practice and a guiding hand, could become full someday.

At the end of her presentation, a few of my colleagues commended her, listing out positives and my first reaction was; "WHAT THE !%£*&$?! Are they blind?! Are they deaf?! Have they lost their minds?! How can they be so biased?!" etc... I was itching for an opportunity to reel out my long list of faults. A comment another colleague made gave me food for thought. She said that no matter how bad someone is, there must be something good we can find to eulogize. That made me rethink my strategy.

Now I do not agree with my colleagues who had only good things to say; if you do not also point out the bad, how will the person improve themselves if they think they are excellent? I believe they did her an injustice by not criticizing her presentation. I also realized that criticisms alone will kill a person's spirit and will not motivate them to try harder (in most cases). So if I had opened my mouth, I would have become an instant enemy and the thought behind the criticism, which was to point out areas for improvement, would have been defeated.

I realized how tunnel-visioned I was. I failed to realize and acknowledge the effort she must have put into her slides and her presentation, the guts it must have taken to stand up in front of colleagues (who may be better skilled in this regard) and who will be judging your every move and utterance. I failed to factor in the point that this was not quite her area of expertise.

I called to memory, those occasions when I prepared a proposal, report or template for a boss and all I got was criticism for my efforts and not one word of praise. I recalled how hurt and downcast I felt. Last week, I actually made my boss defend himself when I felt he didn't recognize my effort! The poor man had to start explaining himself! And here I was not treating another person the way I demand to be treated!

How often are we so filled with self-righteousness and the zeal to do the right thing that we stomp on people's feelings? How often do we try to see the good in others no matter how terrible they seem? We are so quick to blow up the negatives but gloss over the positives. When the president rescinded the ban on football most were quick to call him a coward failing to see that it takes a great man to admit he could be wrong. Some of us castigate anyone who praises Governor Fashola for the good he is doing. They ask why we get excited over a governor who is simply carrying out his responsibilities. And my response is "Why not?". It is not that we do not know our rights and that we aree entitled to good roads and electricity, but it is only fair to appreciate anyone who does the right thing (or attempts to do the right thing). The praise and fan-fare will, I believe, encourage others to do the same.

Not one of us is perfect so it baffles me when we seek perfection in others!

I remember sharing my dreams and ambitions with some friends and I got not one encouraging word. They told me it was impossible, it could not be done in Nigeria, it would never flourish, that Nigerians are not supportive of anyone who tries what I'm proposing, the economy will crush me...etc. I was downcast until I read somewhere that you are only a failure when you do not try.

I thought I'd share this imperfect side of me with the hope that it would encourage someone to stare into the mirror of their soul and judge themselves as harshly as they sometimes do others; confront the ugly truths of their deficiencies and work at enriching lives; theirs and those of the people around by fixing the deficiencies.

As you forge ahead into a new week, remember to do unto others as you would want others to do unto you!

God bless us all.

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

A Disease Worse Than Cancer!

Good Morning My People!

Another dry spell from me, right? I know and I'm sorry. It's this disease I've got that's plaguing me and hindering my progress. And it's killing me softly and silently!

Bet you're sitting at the edge of your seat with bated breath waiting to read what horrible disease it is that I've got! This disease is a big one and it's deadlier, in some regard, than cancer. Truth be told, you have it, too! Yes, you! Do I hear "God forbid"? He forbade it ages ago but we, who have been careless and have not heeded the word of the Lord are plagued by this disease.

This deadly disease that we (you and I) suffer from is PROCRASTINATION! Do I hear you heave a sigh of relief? Do not oh! It's a serious problem! If you do not think so, how come you're way behind on all those dreams and ambitions? How come you've done nothing about that wonderful idea that the good Lord has blessed you with? How come you keep postponing actions for today till tomorrow until it's too late? How come you look back and mutter to yourself "If only..."? Why do you sometimes lie awake at night lamenting at how life seems to be passing you by? Let me give you one answer that addresses all these questions and some others I do not remember; it is because you are afflicted with the spirit of PROCASTINATION! Now let's begin to cast it out!

On a more serious note, this is something we are all guilty of. Psychologists say that when you engage in a counterproductive, needless and delaying activity or inactivity then you are procrastinating.

Personally, I'm tired of talking about my lofty plans, dreams and ambition! I'm tired of running around in circles and achieving nothing (for the most part!) I'm tired of waking up everyday to seeing my dreams materializing but being anchored by someone other than me! I'm tired of saying to myself; "I will start tomorrow", "I will go there tomorrow", "I will do it tomorrow"! What if tomorrow does not come? All those ambitions, poof! Gone with the wind! The hopes and dreams! Maybe not entirely gone with the wind; God will simply bless some other Nigerian with those ideas and hopefully that person will run with it. My friend Lola had the dream of a crèche. Actually had a location in sight but she kept putting it off with excuses and voila! One day, she woke up and there was a crèche located at precisely one of the buildings she had admired as a suitable location. Another friend had a dream, today the dream is a reality in the form of Ice Cream Factory in highbrow V.I. but guess what? It's not owned by my friend. We think we are so smart with all the revolutionary ideas. There are others with the exact same idea as you. It's a race, so start sprinting!

Are you thinking, I must add another degree to my B.Sc but there's no money? There's never enough money. Scrape, scrimp, save and as Nike (the sporting goods label not the Yoruba girl) would say: Just Do It! There are a lot of information swimming in cyber space about scholarships (especially for women), student loans etc. So what are you waiting for? More to the point, what am I waiting for?!

Wake up! How old are you? What have you got to show for your time here so far? Do you think you've done enough? We can never have done enough! That's why we're still here! Today is a gift from God to make the world a better place for you, for someone or for some people. It's not for us to preen and pamper ourselves alone (some days we need the preening and the pampering, but certainly not a lifetime of underachievement!)

For the past few weeks, maybe months, I've been thinking about all the great ideas I have and have had (and mostly lucrative ones, too! I am, after all, an Igbo girl!) And I wonder why I have not acted on a single one of them! Not a one! Of course I'm smart enough to come up with wonderful, believable and excusable excuses to excuse my inaction! (Grammar! Do I really need more education?!). But that's all they really are; excuses! There's no money (the usual culprit!) There's no time (culprit number 2) What if I fail? (Fear! The greatest crippler of dreams!)The Nigerian economy cripples new ideas (this is fast becoming culprit number one!) Hello! People come up with new ideas everyday and they thrive!

I have decided to quit deceiving myself, get off my Chinese butt and actually DO something instead of just thinking about it. I'm sure by now with all the thinking I must have thought things through! All I need to do now is speak to people who will contribute positively to my ideas; who will advise me with the fear of God in their hearts and not people who will have nothing positive to say and effectively kill my dreams. Then I'll just do it! And if I fail, well, at least I tried so one of my regrets will not be; "If only I had tried!"

Have you seen a forty year old individual with broken dreams and unrealised aspirations? They look like the living dead; just existing but not really living. They are so bitter and angry with the world. They taint everything and everyone around them with their bitterness and kill the natural empathy and support they would have garnered from those around them. Now do you see why I speak about procrastination as a deadly disease? It eats away at you slowly and for the unobservant, you wake up one day when you're 50 years old and ask yourself what you've done with a lifetime? Let's rid ourselves of this disease before it's too late. The only time it's late is when we're at our deathbeds. This means even if you are fifty, you can reach into your heart and dust off those ideas! Yes you can! You're never too old to start over. Anyone who tells you different knows nothing at all!

I hope you will take my cue and join me in taking a step toward further self-fulfilment. A fulfilled citizen makes for a fulfilled nation and that's my goal.

This is the start of a new week so you are already psychologically psyched (forget the grammar!) to start refurbish those ideas and take action with the new week.

Have a wonderful week and ensure that at the end of this week, you can look back without muttering "If only..."

God bless us all!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

Armed Robbers, a Dead President Etc.

Good Morning My People! (Finally, eh?)

It's been a long while! How have you all been? I'm so sorry for being MIA! It was due to circumstances beyond my control. Let's play catch up, shall we? What's been going on with you?

A lot has happened in my life since the last time we hooked up; I quit my job with the telecommunications company. It all got a bit too much for me. Our partnership wasn't working for me anymore. So rather than force issues till something broke (it probably would have been me breaking!) I decided to make a clean, quiet and peaceful exit. Unfortunately it was anything but quiet and peaceful. Actually, it was somewhat controversial as most things with me are but that's gist for another day.

Good news: I've got a new job! Not long after I left the old place I got another job in the sector of my dream; HR Consulting! You know, when you've got certain competencies which certain employers will always want and appreciate, you cannot be out of a job for long. I've never had to actively look for a job; most times I'm sieving job offers to make a pick! I got this job in a special way; I walked up to (now) my employer, introduced myself; gave a presentation on myself, my experience, my achievements, my competencies, my weaknesses, my plans for the organisation... And the rest, as they say, is history. For now, we are in a beautiful relationship, on the same path to achieving our mission and vision.

Besides the change in my employment, I lost then regained two friends whom I felt were butting into my personal affairs. Then I realised it was out of love and concern (I hope!). I've made peace with one and intend to do same with the other. I do not have the constitution to keep malice. It's just not in my nature. I'm so peace-loving I ought to be working for the United Nations!

I've recently been brought to my knees by my emotions; humbled into submission to that oh-so common worn-out word – love. Being in love is hard work, I tell you, but I've never been lazy about anything (well, except maybe kitchen work and laundry!) So I intend to work at it (not the kitchen work and laundry!) Good practice, I reckon, since I hear marriage is hard work too!

I lost my president (but I feel he was president in name only). Though I mourned his passing as he was a man whose enemies had nothing negative to say about him and perchance he would have achieved much if he were healthy, I couldn't help but be relieved this saga was over and the nation could move forward. I honestly felt like the kidnappers had lost their victim and could no longer demand ransom. I'm honestly hoping President Goodluck Jonathan would bring some much-needed good luck to this country before we move from being brought to our knees to lying flat on our backs! I liked his interview with Amanpour; I think he held his own admirably.

An assassination attempt was made on a member of my family but thank God he escaped unscathed. When will we learn that politics is not a do-or-die affair and that we can't go killing off our opponents? Let's just prove that we are the better man in whatever we are competing for. Besides, I thought politics was about serving the people? So wouldn't it make sense that the people get to choose who will be their servant? So, if they choose me, be happy with that! Except of course, the people (Nigerians) have no say in who serves them. And this is only because we have refused to vote. We sit at home and condemn the government forgetting that in our passivity we have installed and empowered a corrupt government.

We would do well to go and vote in the next election!

I survived an armed robbery attack...actually, two robbery attacks. One was at home. The other was on my way back from the gym. The (home) robbers could not gain access via the doors or the windows so they decided to try the roof. Now, my house is built like a fort (my father was not Commissioner for Housing only because he was a handsome dude! He knew his onions!) They went at the roof from 2:00am till about 4:00am! Believe me, I was petrified! My sister and I plus my little cousin huddled together in my bedroom calling everyone and anyone we knew. We called my brothers who called all the security operatives they knew in Nigeria! We even called friends abroad who were calling Nigeria for help! It was crazy! But it paid off because the police station nearest my home was besieged by phone calls and radio alerts. They arrived (very many of them) very heavily armed, shooting sporadically into the air. Believe me; I have never been so overjoyed to see our Men-in-Black! At that point, I kept whispering to myself "Police is your friend today oh!" But I also whispered to myself "Why not arrive stealthily so you could catch the thieves rather than scare them away?!" Nevertheless, I was happy they came to our rescue even though they did not get beyond the gate not to mention search the very large premises (this said with a roll of my pretty eyes!).

As for the roadside robber, I was almost angry enough to get out of the car, whip the gun out of his hand and club him into a stroke with it! How can some idiotic moron with a wooden toy of a gun (my suspicions only, not something I cared to confirm!) demand I wind down so he could rob me simply because I was stuck in traffic?! I thought to myself "Who on God's green earth does this fellow think he is? Who does he think I am to hand over my hard-earned cash and property simply because he waved a gun at my head?" I simply stalled by telling him to calm down while I look for the window winder. The idiot patiently stood beside me waiting for me to find it! HELLO, YOU DIM-WITTED OX! IT'S THE LATEST MODEL HONDA CITY SO ITS WINDOWS ARE ELECTRONICALLY POWERED! I DO NOT NEED AN EXTERNAL WINDER LIKE IT WAS SOME 1926 COROLLA TAXI!!! That action enraged me further causing me to engage my James Bond driving skills. The ape ran away when I nearly ran over his foot! I was so angry. I wished I wasn't seated in a car, maybe standing beside him. I would have used him for Karate practice!

I think this is the summary of my life experiences since we last hung out. Unfortunately, I haven't done much by way of helping the less privileged in the society but I still uphold traffic rules, respect other road users, my neighbours and every one I encounter in my day-to-day activities etc. I still do my own little bit to move this beautiful country forward. I must vote in the coming elections. And I will not vote based on state of origin or party but on the candidate's past achievements, life-style, values and what his plans are for Nigeria and Nigerians. You should do the same. I implore you.

So, what about you, what have you been up to? As usual, it's always nice to hear from you. Thank you to all those who kept calling, emailing and texting, demanding their weekly dose of Vitamin Uwalicious! I love you, too!

God bless us all!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!

We’ve Got The Power!

Good Morning My People!

How was your Valentine's Day? Any earth shattering moments worth sharing? Mine was a blast! I spent the whole day indoors with a friend's kids who came over for a visit, except when I went to fill up my tank. Some Valentine's Day; you might think but you don't have all the details! And guess what gift I got! A day of pampering at any spa of my choice! Isn't that romantic? Eat your hearts out! Ha! Just in case you're wondering from who; remember the guy who caused my run-in with the men of the underworld... em ...I meant men of the law (Whew! That was close!) See archives for "Arrested for Love" posted Monday Nov. 9, 2009.

Now that the "Season of Love" has come and gone, everything's back to business or so it seems. Power, in Nigeria, seems to have changed hands from an ailing president to a shadow of a VP (I hope he proves me wrong now he's got the power). Power, in some banks, are changing hands as directed by the CBN (Central Bank of Nigeria). Power, has left the hands of Mr. Aondoakaa as the Attorney General of Nigeria as he has fallen victim to the Acting President's cabinet reshuffle. Aondakaa is now "Minister of Special Duties". God alone knows what that ministerial office will be responsible for. Would it improve the lives of Nigerians?

But in all these (power changing hands), there is one constant; Nigerians have still refused to take hold of the power that is theirs. Yes, we have. All we do is sit by the sidelines and cheer or boo but very few of us actually make any moves to change or fight situations that we believe should not occur. We are vociferous in our clamour for change, in deriding those who are responsible (directly or indirectly) for the steady spiral of the nation into a level below pitiful. But when there is a call for action, our voices dwindle to silent whispers. We prefer to look out for our own immediate interest never understanding (or refusing to understand) that some of the actions we take believing it is for our good will, in the long run, be poison to us directly or indirectly. Did you ever wonder how our children will grow up in a corrupt society if they are not corrupt? To survive they will have to be as ruthless and unscrupulous as the society. If we teach them to be upright and accountable for their actions, they will NEVER survive in the Nigeria we are all building today. And they will NEVER be acceptable to other countries who still believe in the dignity of labour and not short cuts. Unlike the Nigeria we are building now (you and I) where the size of your bank account and how ostentatious you are in displaying its contents are all that matters regardless of the source of the wealth, they will NEVER survive in other countries where they will mostly be judged by the contents of their character. (I'm beginning to feel like Martin Luther King here!) They will NEVER thrive in other countries where honesty, trust and accountability still play a role in one being recognised as a force to be reckoned with.

We get all ruffled when other countries condemn our actions and decisions, our silence when we should be screaming blue murder and our empty mouthing off when we should be diplomatically quiet; rising up in righteous indignation to defend our ethics and beliefs. What ethics? What beliefs?

It breaks my heart when I think what this nation could be. The true patriots are dying out. True patriots like Obafemi Awolowo, Nnamdi Azikiwe, Gani Fawehinmi, my father and those people who lived when Nigeria was a great nation filled with good people. Because they have seen what Nigeria can be, they fought to relive that lost glory. But they are here no more. What do we do? What can we do? We don't have any excuses. We cannot say because we didn't see it then Nigeria cannot change for the better. Let's look around us! A lot of you (I would have said "us" but you all know I haven't done much travelling; lest someone exposes me!) travel to other countries and experience the joy of an accountable government; a responsible populace and a functioning system. What makes us disbelieve a Nigeria with all these and much more is possible? Ghana has achieved a semblance of this and is on the way to achieving more. I think it's because we disbelieve we, as individuals, can change for the better. Let's personalise this; I (Uwa Obasi Odefa) do not believe I can change. You, my wonderful reader, do not believe you can change for the better. You can't stop lying, cheating, breaking laws, jumping queues, being selfish, intimidating less privileged Nigerians...

Besides, what is the purpose of vision, dreams and ambition? Alexander Graham Bell had never seen a telephone before he invented one. Thomas Edison hadn't seen one before he invented the light bulb. Henry Ford had never seen a car except in his head before he invented one. The Wright brothers had no blueprint for an airplane before they invented one. Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak invented the Personal Computer (Apple Macintosh computers). Close your eyes for a moment (when you get to the full stop!) and imagine life without your mobile phone, the light bulbs in your house (never mind whether NEPA gives you "light" or not!), having to walk every distance you need to go (imagine riding a donkey, horse or camel in your Garment Care laundered suit!) and ultimately, life without a computer and my blog! (You can shut your eyes now and imagine life without these!). Let's open our eyes and see the vision, the dreams around us. I know we have these visions of a greater Nigeria; so let's do something about it! We've got the power to invent the world we desire! We've got the power to create change in our environment! We've got the power, plain and simple!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!

God Bless Us All!

P.S. Someone sent me a mail; a letter from God if God could have written to us directly and specifically. It made some sense to me and I apologise if anyone finds it offensive but it's the message which it contains that I want you to focus on. To read the "letter from God" go to the "Crazy Stuff!" page on the top left of this page.

What's Love Got To Do With It?!

Good morning My People!

How has it been the past two weeks? Guess you are all experiencing varying degrees of excitement with the progressive arrival of Valentine’s Day. For women, the excitement is in the gifts they expect to receive from the men in their lives, the “tush” places they will be taken to for a grand romantic dinner for two and/or a marriage proposal! (Do I hear sighs of wistfulness being released? Don’t worry, e fit be you oh!) For the men...hmmm...for the men. The excitement could come from the only one thing we (women) understand them to want and expect in a special package for Valentine’s Day. If you are a man, you know what you want; if you are a woman, you know what they expect. If you do not have a clue what I am talking about, your gender is indeterminate; you should see a gynaecologist!

Valentine’s Day! Ha! I’ve had my fair share of happy, sad and unnoticed February 14ths. When I was in secondary school, we used to hide the gifts and the cards from and to our school dates because we had this really mean teacher who would confiscate everything! Mr. Akinkowo was mean to us back then because he insisted on very high moral standards. I understand that now but back then, to me he was the prince of hell!

Between SSS3 and my first year in university, Valentine’s Day was fun; I had this beau who was as romantic as they come. I got the whole works; chocolates, cakes, dinner in cool places and teddy bears (one of my favourites besides a diamond ring!). Sometimes, I got all of these on one Val’s day! Ha! Eat your heart out!

From then till now, no Val’s day stands out in my mind. (sigh) Too bad.

But after dwelling on this for a while it has made me understand that there is a huge misunderstanding of the concept of love and Valentine’s Day. I’m not going to dwell on the history, meaning and ideals of Valentine’s Day. Nope. You can do that yourself! Use Google!

The whole concept of Valentine’s Day has become so commercialised. Love has been taken advantage of. If you do not give expensive gifts on Val’s Day then you are made to feel less than mortal. We spend so much on that day; so much time, energy, emotions, money etc! Why is love tied to how much material gifts you can give and/or receive? What has love got to do with all these commercialised sensationalism of Valentine's Day? Besides, I don’t believe one day should be set aside to celebrate love and appreciate the people who matter to you. And those who matter to you should not be limited to your husband/boyfriend or wife/girlfriend. Not even someone you are toasting. I remember when my brother’s fiancé bought underwear for my mum for Valentine’s Day! I nearly had a heart attack thinking the poor girl was gay and was making a pass at my mum!

Let’s not be selfish about Valentine’s Day; show some love to people who have very little to be grateful about. For us Christians, I’m sure there are people in your church you notice who are underprivileged. Stretch forth a loving hand not just on February 14th but on other days.

You and your beau can spend the day with the motherless children, inmates at the prisons, detainees at the police station (you’d be surprised to know some of them have been there as long as months without bail and would appreciate signs of love). Those relatives you haven’t visited in ages; go visit them, they would appreciate it. Let’s use our imagination, there’s so much we can do and fortunately this year’s Val’s Day is on a Sunday so hopefully it won’t be characterized by the usual insane traffic of yesteryears! (If you live in Lagos, Nigeria then you know what I mean!).

Ladies, let’s not sit back and wait to be given; it is better to give than to receive as the good book says. So start thinking, what can you do for people who are unlikely to give you anything in return? Sometimes, just saying “I love you” is enough. Sometimes we take our loved ones for granted; how many times have you told your wife, husband, mother, father, brother, sister or brother you love them? We think to ourselves; “he/she knows I love him/her. I don’t need to say the words! I’ll buy more gifts”. Sometimes, the nice and expensive gifts do not make up for the words. Honestly, they don’t. To be sure, take an opinion poll. I did and that’s how I came to my conclusion. (But that is not to say you may not send the nice gifts you got for me oh!)

Let’s express love now, on February 14th and then-after.

I love you My People! Happy Valentine’s Day.

God bless us all!

Nigeria! Good People!! Great Nation!!! Amen!